Lyrics Meme – Because the Real Post Is Refusing to be Written Wednesday, May 20 2009

Going through the notes on Facebook that I’ve been tagged on over the last few weeks, I realized I hadn’t done this yet and we all know i can never resist the lyrics meme.  It’s cross-posted elsewhere, but only privately.  So, if you have access to the private posts, please respond there and leave this version for those who don’t see the FB/IJ/LJ.  Thanks!

I’m going to post lyrics from 25 songs from my iTunes. Without resorting to an Internet search engine, can you guess the song and the artist? As people get them right, I’ll mark them out, add the title and artist, and give credit to whomever got it. No cheating, people!

I’m not tagging anyone, do it if you feel like it. Don’t if you don’t.

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01. Well, you know, I gotta say I meet a lot of friends this way, when the sun goes down; just hanging with the crew knocking back a brew or two.

02. On the first day of January, Eighteen Ninety-Two they opened Ellis Island and they let the people through.

03. I tried to kill the pain, but only brought more. (so much more) I lay dying and I’m pouring crimson regret and betrayal. Tourniquet by Evanescence (kudos to Miss Jameson)

04. Since I was born, they couldn’t hold me down — another misfit kid, another burnt-out town. I never played by the rules and I never really cared.

05. Wake me, my lady. Don’t let me sleep. Open my eyes to the wonders you keep. Let me look at you, see how you shine. I’ll fall in love like I’ve done every time.

06. She’s got a smile that, it seems to me, reminds me of childhood memories where everything was as fresh as the bright blue sky.

07. These eyes see the truth. These eyes hide the proof. These eyes start to bleed. These eyes have forsaken me.

08. Seems like just yesterday, you were a part of me. I used to stand so tall. I used to be so strong.

09. There is a big black bridge and it spans over hundreds of blocks. So, those below catch the trash that is thrown. There’s a plague don’t you know going ‘round, a horrible pox.

10. Pour moi c’est l’heure de foutre à la poubelle. Mon cœur en bois et pour de bon, c’est le crane serti d’étincelles. Que je viens donner ma démission.

11. I close my eyes, only for a moment and the moment’s gone. All my dreams pass before my eyes in curiosity. Dust in the Wind by Kansas (kudos to Miss Jameson)

12. (spoken) You fool. I’m not trying to kill. I’m trying to save you! (sung) There was a white knight riding on his steed, waiting for a noble deed. Inside, a lady in distress with blackened eyes and tears down her dress.

13. The devil that you know is better than the one you don’t and so it goes. Like lonely ghosts at a roadside cross, we stay because we don’t know where else to go.

14. O, Sweet Love Divine, like the touch of rain, gentle on my skin. Lay, lay your sleepin’ head ’til the break of day slowly turns around.

15. I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house. That don’t bother me. I can take a few tears now and then and just let ‘em out.

16. I know this will not remain forever; however, it’s beautiful. Your eyes, hands, and your warm smile, they’re my treasure. It’s hard to forget.

17. This time, this place, misused mistakes. Too long, too late, who was I to make you wait? Just one chance, just one breath, just in case there’s just one left.

18. It doesn’t mean much. It doesn’t mean anything at all. The life I’ve left behind me is a cold room. I’ve crossed the last line from where I can’t return, where every step I took in faith betrayed me and led me from my home. Sweet Surrender by Sarah McLachlan (kudos to Miss Jameson)

19. Wild wind take me home to the mists of down below. I’ll be flying come September day. With no borders in my way, you’ll find me home until the May sun burns the heavy mists of down below.

20. Could it be, you’re an angel droppin’ in to my heart? ‘Cause I don’t always know what this feeling is, but I know it’s alright. And, you help me feel whole for the very first time.

21. Talking away. I don’t know what I’m to say. I’ll say it anyway. Today isn’t my day to find you. Shying away, I’ll be coming for your love, okay?

22. There’s no man alive that has what I need. So, give me a man that I can breathe. There’s no man alive that has what I want. So, give me a man that I can haunt.

23. The broken clock is a comfort, it helps me sleep tonight. Maybe it can’t stop tomorrow from stealing all my time. I am here still waiting though I still have my doubts. I am damaged at best, like you’ve already figured out.

24. Impartial is my battle cry, for here we stand or here we die. A fire fight to light the sky, the time for reckoning is nigh Impartial by Clockwork Dolls (kudos to Miss Jameson)

25. Coin-operated boy, sitting on a shelf, he is just a toy. But I turn him on and he comes to life. Automatic joy, that is why I want a coin-operated boy. Coin-Operated Boy by Dresden Dolls (kudos to Miss Jameson)

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A Night For Conversation Saturday, Feb 28 2009

Meeting people and having interesting conversations is very much apart of the Second Life experience.  Let’s be honest, it a big part of the reason many of us first came to the world in the first place.  Some days are more conversation-filled than others.

Last night was a night of interesting conversations for me, conversations that make one think about people and openness in a virtual age.

I was spending some time at home in Westmoreland, trying to write some informational pamphlets for the Nature Preserve, when the sound of the front door opening startled me.  Normally I keep it locked unless I’m expecting company.  But, I suppose I had forgotten to lock it again after my last guests.  Getting up from my desk, I opened the door of the study to find a tall, well-built blond with a large silver rocket pack inspecting my drawing room.  I might have appreciated the courtesy of knocking before a stranger entered my home.  But, I was prepared to greet his presence pleasantly.

At least until the conversation turned to the mystic.

It seems my unexpected guest had been searching out Atlantis.  The lovely island next to mine is the island of Atlantis Rising and apparently he had come exploring after visiting there.

I have never hidden my witchcraft practices.  I see no reason to.  This is not the seventeenth century.  If I wished to make a secret of the fact that I am a practicing witch, I would not include such a statement as A Writer. An Artist. A Woman. A Witch. A Storyteller. in my profile.

Still, just because I am up front about the matter does not mean it feels any less like prying to be asked what my spiritual gifts are withing the first ten minutes of making my acquaintance, while making assumptions that prove most of the knowledge the questioner possesses about the subject must have come from a bad television show and too many fantasy novels.

1. Calling me ‘glenda’ [sic], then asking if I’m a ‘good witch’ is not likely to win you any points — especially after I digest the image of all that pink tulle while glancing at my own gothic red and black ensemble for the evening.
   
2. The fact you have been attacked by ‘wiccan covens’ who were ‘not good’ is going to make anyone with knowledge of such things either wonder what you did to piss off multiple covens or belive you have no idea what you are talking about as true wiccans follow the ‘an ye harm none’ rule from their crede with  zeal.
3. Providing the above information as a reason for asking if one is a ‘good witch’ usually only serves to put that person on the defensive.  Non-wiccan solitary practitioners like myself tend not to like either the position, nor the comparisons.
   
4. Simply telling me you are trustworthy does not make you so.  Nor does getting huffy at me when I insist you earn such trust rather than being able to instantly ‘feel your spirit’ and know.  Clearly you are not even willing to spend the time to dig beneath the surface and get to know me.
   

A friend at work once said I was the most private person in social networking he’d ever met.  I have a profile on most networks, yet I reveal little of the real substance of me to more than a select few, despite the public way in which I live my online life. But, I don’t trust easily, in either the virtual or the real worlds.  Life has given me no reason to.

Then again, maybe I am cold and standoffish.  It would not be the first time someone has thought so.

“If I wanted to play mind games, I’d buy a Rubic’s Cube.“  ~~ Acheron Parthenopaeus

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First Look: Westmoreland Nature Preserve Saturday, Jan 3 2009

Things have been hectic in RL, particularly with work.  Been putting in overtime and dealing with other stresses that have kept me offline a lot.

So, it was not until recently that I’ve had a ton of time to spend in world.  What time I have spent there has been spent working on building a Nature Preserve on the Northern Island of Caledon Westmoreland.

Back in November, the ladies who had previously owned Westmoreland, and from whom I had been renting my little cottage sanctuary, decided it was necessary for them to give up ownership of the region.  Rather than move, I told the Guvnah I would be happy to take on the tier for the entire Westmoreland region.  To anyone not familiar with our attachments to SL, this may sound crazy, but Westmoreland speaks to me in the same way Los Angeles, Boston, and the Rocky Mountains speak to me in RL.  When I was first given the opportunity to rent land there, I knew it was where I was supposed to be.  And so, there I stay.

But, let’s be honest, I haven’t been able to be in world enough to make an honest attempt at renting the Northern Island, even though I would be able to as a Duchy.  Instead, I asked if I might build a Nature Preserve there.

The Deer Forage for Survival at the Westmoreland Nature Preserve

For the winter, I’ve built it as a woodland forest.  Most everything is purchased and built by someone else.  But, as I continue to learn how to do more and more of it on my own, I’ll be slowly replacing trees and landscaping with that of my own creation.  (Although, I may keep the animals as is.)  Each season, I’d like to create some sort of appropriate recreation as well.  There’s an open area with benches and currently ice skating, that may be replaced with a small pool or pond.

Open Space for visitors to relax, enjoy a picnic, maybe skate

I’m looking to do two things with the space, essentially:

1 – Provide a quiet, pretty space for residents of both communities (Caledon and neighboring Atlantis Rising) to enjoy.

2 – Create a repository for information on real world conservation work, as well as literary and artistic efforts influenced by the conservation movements of the 1800s, perhaps do something in conjunction with the Caledon Library and Muir’s work.

It will likely be a constant work in progress as new and rare plants and animals are brought in.

It’s not quite ready for the public, still some work to be done, seating scripts to tweak, landscaping to adjust, and an official plaque to put out.  But, it’s nearly there.

Plaque to Welcome visitors to the Preserve

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A Fun Little Christmas Meme-thing Sunday, Nov 30 2008

(If the image doesn’t show just click the ‘Christmas Gift Toy’ to see the full thing.)

Christmas Gift Toy & MySpace Layouts at pYzam.com

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Who I Am is Who I AM Tuesday, Nov 25 2008

Spending time with my thoughts and the sea

I made an interesting self-discovery this weekend, even though I’ve procrastinated a bit writing about it:

Kirasha Urqhart is still me.

Perhaps not startling to some, but important for the typist behind the avatar.

See, I’ve always been a sort of cameleon, adapting my personality to any given group or situation.  Not really changing who I am, so much as what parts of me get shown to whom.  I don’t think I really hid those parts, so much as indulged in others, rarely feeling the need to discuss Motzart with the Metalheads, for example, when I could indulge my love of Metallica and Slayer in their conversations.  I was always the one who made friends with half the cliques in high school — and then had to figure out how not to make them hate each other for an evening if I wanted to have a birthday party, for instance.

Despite being an active roleplayer (though not obsessive) since the age of 16, a theatre buff and techie, as well as a writer of fantasy and romance stories, it wasn’t really until the internet that I began thinking of some of this intrinsic nature as playing a role in life.

I think, in part, I fell into that trap of being anyone online.  That period of time just out of high school, first couple years in college, trying to find your way in a new adult world that isn’t going to give you a make-up exam if you miss the final, is perhaps one of the most emotionally chaotic periods in a person’s life.  Fiddling around on the internet, which itself is still in its infancy, was a great exploratory experience.  But, in some ways, I think I fooled myself as well as others.

I was at the local community college when i really started getting into the internet and BBSs (which were all the rage at the time, so that tells you how long ago we’re talking).  I would unltimately spend five years there, trying on four different majors, several different ‘me’ personalities, and eventually leave with pretty much nothing to show for it except hours clocked at the threatre and even more logged in the computer lab playing around online.  During this time, I was also seeing someone off and on, an open relationship that I had rapidly discovered I was completely unsuited for, but was already emotionally attached.  I alternated between ecstaically in love and depressingly unloved all based on whether we were on again or off again that month.

The internet offered the fresh start I was looking for, the clean slate where nobody knows me and maybe they’ll appreciate me for who I am, not whether or not I’ll sleep with them or if I’ll be available at their every whim, regardless of my own life and needs.

When I came to Second Life in February…and June…and permanently in October…I was looking for the same thing, I think.

But, I came to realize this past weekend that I seriously suck at being anyone other than myself.  No matter what ‘improvements’ I make in the persona I project, it slips and I end up just interacting as little ole me.  I actually created an alt (no, I will not tell you her name) for the express purpose of going out and exploring and doing all the things I would never do as myself, from dressing in haute couture to experimenting with virtual sex.

She has only seen the light of day about three times.  I’m just not comfortable in her skin.

I attended a few group events this weekend – Jerremy Darwin’s Rez Day Party, hosted by his wife Tymmerie, and a couple stops on the Grand Tour hosted by Caledon and several of her sister Realms (Steeltopia’s party and then Caledon Argyl’s under the sea ball).

I completely forgot to try and take pictures at Jerremy’s party.  But, it was a fun night.  Got to meet several new people who I’ve really only seen in blogs or other people’s Plurks.  Heard some great music.  Didn’t say much, but didn’t really feel like an outsider, either.

At Steeltopia, I took a BUNCH of photos, which I’m working on formatting for flickr and will post during the holiday, most likely.  Again, hung out with some great people, many of whom were somewhat familiar from ISC chat and a couple community meetings.  Great music — including the theme to Neverending Story, one of my favorites.  And again, didn’t say much, but didn’t really feel like an outsider, either.

I was only able to attend the under the sea ball for a short time due to the lateness of the hour and being the only member of the RL family NOT ill this past weekend.

The key point that struck me was that I was truly enjoying myself, without feeling like I had to be a chatter box.  See, I used to moderate a LiveJournal-based roleplaying game.  And we had bi-weekly player chats, impromptu chats, everyone was on IMs (which wasn’t required officially, but most players got put out if someone wasn’t available — and that’s a headache for another story).  There was always a feeling of “you’re a mod, you’re supposed to be here and friendly and chatting with us about nothing, no matter how detrimental chat is to your getting the work done on the game that we’re hounding you about in chat“.  Not from everybody, but from enough of a percentage that chatting began to feel like a chore.  I’m not big on phones, hate hearing my own voice, will never use voice in SL, would rather email than IM, and dislike being the center of attention, even despite wanting to put my words out for the masses to hear.

I’ve spent the last seven or eight years, since the relationship I had in college failed, working on finding a way back to who I am.  The reason this behaviour of mine at these parties struck me was because it’s a clear sign to me that I’ve succeeded in some part in finding that girl again.  Because, it wasn’t shyness or awkwardness that kept me silent.  It was simply because I didn’t have anything important to say.  That’s who I am.  Not a chatterbox talking to fill the silence.  I speak when I have something to say or am spoken to directly.  And if I don’t have something to say, I’m perfectly content to just listen to what everyone else has to say.

I tried to fool myself into thinking my online persona was this vapid chatterbox with nothing interesting to say, just talking to be part of the conversation.  And maybe I played that role for a while.

But this weekend, I realized that my Second Life persona was a more true reflection of who I am.  Which sounds strange, I’m sure.  Yet, in a weird way, I needed to create a new version of ‘me’, Kirasha Urqhart, in order to find part of the real me again.

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